40 Day Fast

Wow this week was super amazing!!!! I love being on the Lords errand. I am going to try to describe an experience I had this week that has changed my life. but to begin I have to give a little detail so bear with me..

Elder Zivic of the seventy gave us a challenge to do a 40 day fast. Meaning we fast for 24 hours and the Lord helps us design a list of things we need to give up and change to fully submit our will to Heavenly Fathers. I felt strongly impressed to do this. So Saturday and Sunday I fasted and created this list of things I want to give up to more fully purify myself to the work. It was weird there are some things on the list that are not bad at all but the Lord wants me to do it. 

Sunday after a great day of fasting we went to go see an investigator named Alisha. She is 25 years old, single and looking for truth. We taught her the basic Restoration and Plan of Salvation. She didn't understand the need to be baptized again,, (by proper authority) so as any missionary does we studied and found all the "proof" that she needed to be baptized again. 

We asked Elder and Sister Mills, the senior couple, to go with us to teach her because we needed that 3rd male. Elder Mills is a spiritual rock in the gospel and is very close to the spirit. So during the lesson we began helping her understand the importance of being baptized again. We used the stories of Nicodemus... and When Paul taught the disciples in Acts 19.. but none of these things we clicking with her. We had the proof,  but we realized we didn't have the Spirit. Elder Mills paused and looking at her with tears in his eyes he said, "I want to try something that I feel we should do at this time. Let's all kneel in prayer and each of us will go around and say a prayer and ask if Joseph Smith is a prophet and if the Book of Mormon is true." 

(I thought to myself perfect this will get her! the Lord is going to perform a miracle here!! ) 

As we started, I prayed first. Then Elder Mills.. then Elder King.. Then Alisha. During each prayer I thought, listened and tried to feel if the Holy Ghost was just going to overcome us and she was going to be converted. But besides the typical heat and sweating nothing happened. 

After the prayer she said she felt normal.. I felt like we had failed. I said a prayer in my heart "why did this happen" why not a miracle.." I was discouraged almost. 

After we closed the lesson we left. And headed back to the church. I asked Elder Mills to give me a blessing. 1. Because I hadn't had a blessing in a while and I missed the blessings dad gives around school time. 2. Because I needed a spiritual experience so my faith would grow not increase. 

Before the blessing we started to chat. Elder Mills wanted to get to know the reasons why I wanted a blessing. I told him first that I just hadn't had one in a while and felt I needed one. He asked a few more questions to really get to me and asked why I really wanted a blessing. I broke down in tears. It was the first time I cried in a long time. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of love from God. 

During the blessing he said things that I have been praying for, for many nights. And he blessed me with things I can't even write about, but it touched my heart to the center. The Spirit was so present I couldn't stop the tears. Man was it amazing. 

I have learned a few things.. after this experience. God he could have a miracle and change the heart of this investigator... But that would not allow her to search and have Faith for her self. And second that God will always answer my prayers and help me feel of His love. 

These next 40 days I have covenanted with the Lord to give up everything.. To fully submit my heart, my entire being to Him. I will go where He wants me to go. And I will say what he wants me to say. I have realized this work is not about me. This is Gods work. I am just learning to be on His errand. 

The church is true!  I love all of you 

Love Elder Dixon